me

"I love that you get cold when it is 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because i'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." quoted from "when harry met sally"

ironically enough, i'm convinced that i'm some sort of hopeless romantic. the urban dictionary defines it as:

"This person is in love with love.They believe in fairy tales and love... All hopeless romantics are idealists,the sentimental dreamers,the imaginative and the fanciful when you get to know them.They often live with rose colored glasses on.They make love look like an art form with all the romantic things they do for their special someone."

so i guess this is true to some extent. i believe that chivalry is not dead. when it comes down to it, i try to be genuine, honest, and most of all trustworthy. in my eyes, all key elements to this thing called love. i try and implement these as much as i can. call me sappy or whatever you want. i'm really passionate with what i care about. i wear my emotions on my sleeve. i'm not afraid to show i feel...you'll know i'm sad, you'll know if i'm mad, you'll know if i'm upset...it's just how it is. why hide it? you know, i've had my share of deception. why throw it back at anyone? so recently...i've been at my lowest of all lows. and of course...there's no where to go but up when you're down at the bottom. i've done a whole lot of soulsearching during the holidays...and i can honestly say, now matter what issues i have, i'm finally happy with myself. i've rediscovered all the passions once lost in my past. it's pretty ironic...whoever thought that getting hurt would be the best thing to happen to me. but then i guess that's life...that's why the words "ad astra per aspera" are so meaningful to me. it does take difficulties or adversity to rise up above. and that's how i take it. i know for myself that i am or can be a great person. i don't know what it takes for people to discover that about me. but i'll put it out there myself. i told everyone this year that it's going to be my rebirth. no matter how shitty things get, i'm going to try to best to keep pushing forward. we all take our own pursuits to happiness in different ways...but hell people...if you've known me in the past, you know how i've been. i haven't been the happiest person in the world. hell, i've tried to take my life on a few occasions. but i've surpassed all that. life's too short to be sad all the damn time. i don't know why it took me that long to realize that but i'm done with that. i'm going to revert to that carefree soul i was once trying to become. whatever stupid shit gets thrown at me, i'm just gonna say fuck it, and drive on. i wish i could've figured all this out sooner but we all have our different paths. but i'm just happy that i rediscovered who i am and what i can be. sorry i hella digressed. this was gonna be about "love" but then it became something about "passion", now it's just about me. well...whoever my readers are. i hope you've learned a little more about me. i hope i can inspire you. i hope i have intrigued you. thank you for your time and patience.


on a side note...here's the latest project