fresh start

well....first blog of 2010. haven't done this in a while. 2009 was something. a majority of 2009 was living out here in vegas. definitely a new experience. change never hurt nobody...well that's actually a crock of shit. but yeah...it's been something living out here. it really is a new world when you're a "local" versus a "tourist." but i'm definitely glad that 2009 is over and done with. it wasn't necessarily bad nor good. i'll definitely try to keep up with this thing this year. i guess this post will second as my "resolution" list as well. i'm trying to develop this mentality of "DO" rather than "TRY TO DO" i guess i really fell into this negativity thing because well....no one was really positive around me. it sucks because i really want to be motivated but there was no one really there to motivate me. my surroundings have always been kinda like being in quicksand. just like keanu reeve's character describes in the movie, the replacements. "...you think everything is going fine. then one thing goes wrong, then another. and another. you try to fight back, but the harder you fight, the deeper you sink. until you can't move... you can't breathe...because you're in over your head." everything just seemed to bring me down. i'm not even sure that's the right analogy to make. but i guess what i'm trying to say is that everything wasn't so happy-g0-lucky. the past few years of my life have pretty much sucked, a lot of it was my own doing and can blame no one but myself, but the other part was not necessarily me. so with that pretty much out there, for this new year, i'm going to not let the past haunt me anymore. i need to think positive and stay positive. i'm not going to let ANYONE bring me down anymore. i have set so many goals for myself but not once have i really accomplished them. i don't know why it's taken me this long to figure this out about myself, but i guess it comes to you at sporadic moments. and you probably much have to gather it all up and figure it out. ok so...with all that out of the way...here comes the fun part. here's what i want to accomplish this year and on...1)think the party days are pretty much done for, so it's time to kill of that debt. 2)take the fight game to another level. i'm nowhere near where i want/need to be. if there's one dream i ever want to have made a reality, it's to fight. 3)keep/be positive. i hear this goes a long way haha. 4)manage myself better. i.e. quit being lazy. paying shit on time. i'm not gonna try and set too many goals for myself because it really does take baby steps. 3-4 things to work on is more manageable than taking on like 20 so...i guess that's it for now. i haven't really lashed out any thoughts so i hope to keep up and drive on...